I'm hoping that we are turning the corner. Lately we really seem to be coming together as a family again and hopefully leaving the terrible times behind - I know it's not gonna be smooth but things are better and that gives me hope. We have all become so much closer and loving with each other and it makes me so happy. As I look back I see the mistakes I made and how my go along to get along nature contributed to the problem. I see that my low self esteem and poor self confidence made it easy for him. I look back now and am amazed at how easily I was manipulated. It's hard to admit and it makes me feel like shit, but only by recognizing my mistakes can I correct them.
My oldest daughter K and I were just talking about some stuff and I realized that in my whole life I've never been single and lived alone. From the time I was 13 until I was 16 I had a boyfriend, then from 16-22 a different one, then from 23-2004 I was with my oldest girls dad, then after I divorced him I was only single for about 2 months then I lived with a guy for about 2 years, then after less than a month I met N's dad and we started seeing each other and moved in together after about 6 months. Pathetic I know BUT I have been single now for over a year and living on my own and surprise surprise doing better than I ever have in my life financially and emotionally. I can only imagine how much more successful I would have been in life had I not tied myself to men all the time because honestly they were like anchors around my feet always.
This article was the beginning of my epiphany but it still took a while because the monster only exhibited a couple of these signs BUT any of them are still bad and I didn't pick up on it - the main ones being quick attachment and expression and entitlement with bad stories and eventually came walking on eggshells but by then it was too late.
http://www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/IdentifyingLosers.html
If a man has any of the characteristics on the above list - he's bad news and you need to get away AS FAST AS YOU CAN
I was just thinking the other day that this is the first time I have lived on my own--and I'm 75!!! Why do we think we have to have a man in our lives? I guess we were searching for love---in all the wrong places, LOL. Low self esteem, lack of self worth, and needing financial security--will make us put up with a whole lot of bad stuff from men, won't it? Glad you are finding your way!
ReplyDeleteyep it's sad but like I said better late than never! but I have to admit I do wish I had someone to cuddle with sometimes and go to Applebees lol
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