My biggest problem is making parenting decisions from guilt instead of from my brain.  My therapist makes me see this so clearly but when I'm in the moment it's SO hard.  I just have to keep repeating to myself - do what's best for them not what makes them happy right now.  I probably should get it tattooed on my hand so I can look at it every time they ask me something!

I also need to get a routine.  Ever since the disclosure I've been operating on the fly with no plan, no structure, just trying to make it through each day as it comes because honestly, I couldn't really think any further than just putting one foot in front of the other (get up, get ready, go to work, come home, cook dinner, wash clothes, bathe the little one, etc).  Now that I don't have a routine, I keep forgetting things or overlooking them and it's causing me problems.  It will also help all of us to have more structure in our life.  I need to make a plan.  That is my goal for the weekend.  To start on a plan and set some goals.

I'm also going to sit down with the girls and have a talk about our family.  It's time for all of us to set some goals and determine who we want to be and how we want to live our life.  This past year my oldest had to do a project on her belief system and she was really at a loss and it made me realize that although I thought I was communicating what I thought were my beliefs they really don't have any clue what I value:  integrity, kindness, loyalty, and fairness.  I think this will also help us a lot.

I need to stop focusing on this terrible thing that happened and we need to move on and overcome it and flourish!  We cannot let this define us.  We cannot let him win.