Friday, June 20, 2014

I remember the first time I ever saw this show on Dr Phil and I remember thinking bullshit.  There was no way she didn't know.  Now, I know different.

A few of the times that my daughter was molested, it was while I was in bed asleep and her sister sleeping above her in the bunk bed.  He would come home from work (he worked night shift) and go into their room and do things.  I'm not going to talk about what exactly he did because I don't feel that is necessary, but don't ever think that just because they share a room with a sibling they are safe.   They aren't.  My older daughter said she suspected something but she was afraid to look and too scared to say anything.  That is the reality of this type of behavior.  It's so sick and disgusting no one wants to believe it's actually happening.  It's so hard for me to believe this happened while I was in our bedroom asleep.  That's how devious and slick they are to do such things while their wife is in their bed sleeping.  I wish I had woke up and caught him and had a gun so I could've gunned him down like the vermin he is.

My older daughter also told me later that he and my middle daughter would take "naps" together and she thought it was weird but never said anything.  This was when he was home with them after school/during the summer while I was at work and he either was on night/eve shift or not working.  Many times it happened while they were home alone together because my older daughter was involved in extracurricular activities so she wasn't home.

Yesterday after therapy, I was thinking about how twisted and evil some people are, it's hard for me to understand because I'm not made that way, that people like to hurt people, that they like to destroy things that are good and  beautiful.  That they get pleasure out of tormenting.  It's hard to wrap my mind around that concept, but it's true.  These people exist in the world.  It's scary.  I read a story yesterday about a woman who abused and tortured a 4 year old boy left in her care because his dad had to go to jail for six months or something like that for no reason other than she is just a sick twisted individual.  Some people just like to control and hurt people who are vulnerable.  He was like that I think now, I think he enjoyed fooling me, that was part of the thrill.  Knowing that I thought I was creating this good life and it was all really just total shit.  I was trying to give my kids a good start in life and he pretended he was helping me and all the time he was going behind my back and sabotaging me.

I hope he dies a slow and agonizing and painful death when it comes.  The worse that anyone has ever experienced.


  1. I cannot even imagine how you must have felt when you realized what was happening. Yes--I think I would have killed him, someway. I know of one person who has been a child molester and, unfortunately, he is still living and about to be 83 years old!! I check the local paper everyday for his obit.

  2. That day I felt like I was having an out of body experience - everything that happened after that was almost like I was in a nightmare that it wasn't real even though I knew it was - I know now I was experiencing shock and it took a few days for it to wear off. I was like a robot performing the right actions but no feelings whatever because I couldn't handle them at that moment.