Thursday, June 12, 2014

If I had a family that could have taken care of my daughters if something happened to me, I think I would have driven up to where he was staying with my gun and killed him and then killed myself.  That is what I would have liked to have done, but I didn't because there is no one who would take care of all of the girls and kept them together.  My oldest two daughter's father is a complete loser.  Five different woman have filed domestic violence petitions against him, including his own mother.  According to the domestic violence counselor, at least twelve have called the hotline about him.  He also won't work and does drugs.  Although his sister seems to be doing ok, I can't imagine she would have taken them.  His brother has as many problems as he does.  I don't have any brothers and sisters and I know my father and his wife would not want to take them, they might take them, but they would resent them or they might not even have taken them.  I'm estranged from my all of my extended family (on my mom's side because when my grandfather died they all got mad at each other and stopped speaking to each other, on my dad's side because my ex had an almost two year affair with my 22 year old cousin - we were 32).  We have no one.  My youngest child's father, the one who molested my middle daughter, is of course in prison and his family turned on me afterwards, I wouldn't trust them either.  So, I never got to confront him.  In fact, the day they were going to serve the search warrant, I had to talk to him several times and pretend everything was ok so he wouldn't be suspicious.  Sometimes I used to think about going to the jail to confront him, but I thought why give him the satisfaction? It's better to just cut him off and let him rot.  He tried to call me after he was arrested from the jail, I had the jail block our numbers.  He sent me two letters and he admitted to the abuse but tried to blame it on my daughter.  I turned them over to the prosecutor.  I wish he would hurry up and die so I can just tell our daughter he is dead when she asks about him, right now I tell her he is in timeout for not following the rules.  It would be better for her if I could just tell her he was dead.

No comments:

Post a Comment